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I wished I had scanned it as opposed to a cameraphone picture, but this illustration cracks me up. Look at those teeth!

Let me preface this story by stating that every time I go to Wal-Mart, I always swear that it will never happen again. But inevitably I need something random when everything else is closed, and I end up cursing myself for going back.

James will appreciate this the most, he knows my history with these situations.

So, I’m standing in the scrapbooking aisle looking at all the various glue sticks and pens. I feel a little something on my leg and turn around to see a guy squatting behind me looking up my dress! He literally had his face in my ass! And when I yelled at him, he nonchalantly denied it and said he was just looking at the stuff, and pointed to the things in front of me.

Seriously, he was shopping for glue sticks while squatting behind me lifting my dress and sticking his face in my ass?!?

Why do these things happen to me?

I wish instead of yelling at him I had peed on him. Now that would’ve been funny and worth the experience.

Today we got a call from a lady asking what was currently showing. After being read the movie list, she asked, “Are any of those films metaphysical? Will they move me spiritually?”

The look on T’s face was classic. She told her no and asked her if she had meant to call the A.R.E. The lady responded, “I need to see a traditional metaphysical film that will move me today at your cinema.”

Those damn what-the-bleepers drive me nuts.

I know this because my legs are covered in bug bites.

I have been intrigued by Nate Hill’s Chinatown Garbage Tours for the past few years (for obvious reasons). Apparently tomorrow night, June 26th, is the last one he is hosting. I wish I could be there…

Tuesday: A few clouds. Highs in the upper 90s and lows in the upper 70s.s. Highs in the upper 80s and lows in the low 70s.

It instantly became summer.

Fuck summer.

I refuse to believe that Jennifer Connelly’s legs really look like this.

I hope you are okay. I love you.

edit:
James - I love you, I love you, I love you, and I’m thinking of you every second and can’t wait until you are better and I can talk to you.

(i realize some people don’t like to look at gross stuff like i do, so i’ve done a little kitty censoring, but if you’re curious, give ‘em a click)

I was a complete mess yesterday morning. I had the hardest time dragging myself out of bed because I knew I had to go back to the doctor and get my gauze changed. By the time I got there I was on the verge of a panic attack. I was shaking so hard and could barely breathe.

I felt slightly better when my new doctor walked in. She was young and pretty and seemed much more caring and gentle. She tried to be as careful as possible doing the change, and while it still hurt like hell, it wasn’t nearly as bad as when the sadist did it.

She was very concerned with the infection and wanted to get me to a surgeon right away for consultation. The only one she could find to take me couldn’t do it until this morning, so she sent me to the emergency room instead.

Everyone there was so nice. It is assumed that the abscess is the result of a brown recluse bite, but there is no way to know for sure. No one has tested me for MRSA, which I still don’t understand. The two ER doctors that I saw said it appears to be healing normal and I don’t need to keep it gauze packed. I literally let out a squeal of joy at that news.

They told me to keep it bandaged. I can take the bandage off to shower and let water rinse it out, then keep a gauze patch on it the rest of the day. I’m not to put any medication on it and just let nature run it’s course. They said to expect 6-8 weeks of this before it fully heals. And by then I will have earned an awesome scar.

So I left the hospital yesterday completely elated. I hadn’t felt so good and positive in days.

This morning I woke up stress free. I took a shower, showed my hole off to Victoria and Amanda (slumber party night), bandaged it up and was ready to go. No problems.

Then the doctor called…

She wanted to know what happened in E.R. yesterday. She was still very concerned and wasn’t 100% comfortable with their diagnosis. She set up an appointment with a surgeon for me on Monday. So now my happy mood is waning its way back to nervous and scared and stressed.

So this is what I’ve been dealing with for the past ten days. Jared and I woke up last Monday with strangeness. I had what seemed like a bug bite, and he had huge bruises on his knee and torso.

By Wednesday my leg was really swollen and painful, so I dragged myself to a doctor. He said it was most likely an infected bug bite, and blamed fleas since we have cats (although no fleas). He prescribed antibiotics and told me to use hot compresses to get it to come to a head.

By the next Monday, my leg looked like the photo on the right. It was so sore and hard to walk on and it just would not come out. I knew I needed to go back to the doctor and have it cut open, but being of the non-insurance-having variety, I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I went in Tuesday morning and they numbed my leg with seven shots of lidocaine (OUCH!) and then cut a hole in it. The doctor couldn’t get “it” all out, so they stuffed the hole with medicated gauze.

I had to go in yesterday to get that gauze changed, and it was the most excruciating thing ever. I was a sobbing, weeping mess all yesterday morning. And the best part is that I get to do it everyday for the next two weeks or so. And he’s talking surgery if it doesn’t clear up.

I currently have a hole the size of a bullet in my leg. You could stick a pinkie finger in there. Although, I would punch you because it would hurt like hell.

I’m so miserable and upset at this point that I just can’t even get on. I’m to be in Portland in two weeks, and I will need a leg, so this either needs to clear up or they need to get me my robot leg ASAP.